Overeaters Anonymous

So, after our weekly WW meeting, my sister suggested that we attend our local Overeaters Anonymous meeting. I said, “Sure”. I had actually offered it as a suggestion in the past, thinking that it might be helpful given that we both have the tendency (though not much anymore, really) towards compulsive/binge eating.

We went. I won’t return.

First, let me say that I am open to all new ideas and I am certain that OA is a life-saving tool for many, many people. I just don’t think that I am a fit for the program. It follows the twelve steps of recovery utilized by Alcoholics Anonymous. Just replace the word “Alcoholics” with “Overeaters”, and the word “Alcohol” with “Food”. The literature is the same.

The program has been in existence since the 60’s with great success, I’m sure. The members in attendance at that particular meeting were very passionate about the program, and some even said that it saved their lives. I believe that, and I am happy for them. Truly.

The program asks you to give control to “God” or some other “Higher Power”, which is quite difficult for me to do. I am Catholic. I believe in God, but this came off as really creepy to me and I don’t know why. I was not comfortable with this part of the program, and it is the whole gist of the program. I worked long and hard to trust in myself, and to trust that I will make wise food choices. It was not easy. I still struggle, but I have worked very hard to leave my old habits in the past. This may not be a popular opinion, but I believe that you have to be weak-minded to give complete control over any part of your life to anyone else, be they living, divine or otherwise. I understand that this can and does happen, that some people are truly powerless over food and they need this kind of peace in their lives. It’s just not for me. I find the ultimate peace in my own strengths. "Opiate of the masses" springs to mind at this moment...

Now, back to the meeting experience. There is light “praying” that goes on as well. People grabbed my hands for this bit and that put me off. I’m not antisocial by any stretch of the word, but I was not prepared for the level of personal contact at the meeting. I just met these people, after all. My advice? Give the newbie a chance to learn the program before you invite her to the sacrifice.

There is the whole matter of a sponsor as well. You are asked to choose a sponsor that you will call, and who will call you, to check in with regarding your food plan for the day and anything else that may enter your mind that you wish to share. Again, I keep track of my food with Weight Watchers, so there are similarities, but I am not one to share personal matters with a total stranger. I need a minute (or two), for crying out loud!

It was said more than once that most new people never return after the first meeting. I could help them with that issue. The whole experience is very different and personal, and it would be helpful if the new folks were greeted at something other than a usual meeting. They should schedule special meetings for “newcomers” to explain how things work, instead of scaring the bejesus out of them on the first day. You couldn’t get me out of that room fast enough, and when I finally did leave, I felt as though I had just been through something very naughty. I wanted to run and hide in my room under the covers. I couldn’t even look at my sister. I just ran for my car and skedaddled.

I called her later, of course, to discuss my feelings, and that gave me a chance to decompress and to think about what I had just been through. I came to the following conclusion.

I have made great strides with regard to my compulsive/binge eating habits, and I am well on my way to completely changing my bad behaviors. Listen, there will always be buffets, and they will always be evil, in my honest opinion. I realize now that the feeling of being stuffed after an enormous meal is very uncomfortable, downright painful, actually, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I like the way I look now. I’m “normal”. Not fat, not a model, not hideously disfigured. Just normal. I used to pray for normal and normal has found me. I trust in myself. I am who matters. If I let myself down, the healing begins with me once again. I forgive myself and move on. I will never give complete control over any part of my life to some "higher power".

I'm the one with the power. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.